Friday, 1 July 2011

Taboo.. going from Still birth to Suicide

So in my page on the loss of my baby Dylan I wanted to take away the 'Taboo'ness of the subject of losing a baby. Tonight I want to take away the 'Taboo'ness on the subject of suicide.
Suicide is a very, very tough subject. But I think it needs to be talked about, openly. I know a number of people who have been touched by it. I have never been close enough to know it's full impact and I guess you would never know unless a very close loved one has committed suicide.
My pop who died of pneumonia before I was even born, had attempted suicide when he was in his forties. He ended up in an institution for the rest of his life after his failed suicide attempt. I wish my mum was alive today to tell me more about it. How it affected her. What was he like. Did she know what the particular reasons were. All I know is that he suffered from depression. And that he was a talented artist.
The good thing is, that times have changed... depression is no longer seen as something that needs to be hidden and locked away. Although it may be difficult for those who have never experienced or been touched by it, to understand. But in this day and age it seems to have touched everyone in some way. Or is it that we are able to talk about it now, that more people are coming forward with their stories? Whichever the case, it is not going away and so many people need help and understanding. Not judgement. Judgement is the last thing they need.
When I was young I had a few 'moments'. These 'moments' could've ended my life. Thank God that I never went through with it. I would never know all this amazing stuff that's happening in the world. I would never have had Liam, Jack or Evangeline. I don't know what stopped me, or made me come to my senses, but I'm glad I did realise it was not the answer.
Two of my friends had said today that it 'takes guts' to go through with it. And yes, I guess you could put it that way. But it takes a mind that needs help, major help, to get to that point. To get to the point that this seems to be the ONLY solution. When it is NOT the ONLY solution.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we as a society need to be more open, and waaaay less judgemental. I know it's very much a Utopian view. But any dream is a possible reality. We just have to work towards it.
I haven't even touched on half the topic and what needs to be covered. But I think I will leave it here at the moment. It's pretty heavy going for a friday night.

And if you are interested in the impact that suicide has on loved ones I highly recommend reading blogger Lori's journey.


Anonymous said...

I too have heard people say it takes guts to go through with it but i tend to disagree, i think it is more desperation and despair. People who commit suicide aren't brave, they are desperate for an escape. When you are depressed you dont always have a clear view of the world and the road ahead of you. I totally agree no one has the right to judge unless they have been in their shoes :-) Great post x

Daisy, Roo and Two said...

Yes I agree with you. I think that the act of suicide doesn't take "guts", it takes you being in such a desperate, dark and lonely place that you honestly believe that by dying, you will save yourself and everyone around you so much hurt and pain. And suicide shouldn't be taboo. Not at all. I think it needs to be spoken about openly in order for people to see that they can get help before it gets that bad. Well, that's the hope, anyway. Have you read any of Lori's blog "Random Ramblings of a Stay At Home Mum"?