Monday 11 July 2011

Going 'Back to the Future'....

Are you ready to hop into the De Lorean and 'gun it to 88?' Ok so I will have to add the disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Now this is something I know I shouldn't do... Going over the past and thinking what I could've done to change things. None of us should do this. It doesn't make anything 'better'. It certainly won't change anything. It most likely will make you feel like crap.
But there are times when I've thought:
  • "If only I had spoken up in my obstetric appointment when they had decided to induce my labour with Liam, and had told them I felt safer with a c-section... maybe Liam wouldn't have severe Cerebral Palsy now"
  • "If only we had gotten my mum tested earlier for the cancer... maybe she would be here now"
  • "If only I had been more focussed at university and finished my degree earlier...then I would've been teaching and earning money for a while so I could've saved before I got married and had children" 
Funnily enough I am actually struggling to think of regrets, because there's a reason all the things have happened to me and these things make up the person I am today. And looking at this list there is only maybes... And maybe Liam was always going to have CP and maybe my mum was going to die of cancer anyway, no matter when we discovered it. And most likely I wouldn't have saved much money after uni if I hadn't gotten into the family way...
Everyday people spend time thinking about the past and what they should've done. It is wasted energy, unless it is used to stop any further preventable incidents. It depletes you if you let it feed on your mind and your heart. It is toxic. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Do not worry about the past, as it is done and finished.
No regrets.. Non, je ne regrette rien

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