Thursday, 28 July 2011

"Back in the day..."

Things were done differently "back in the day..".
There was no internet. No Facebook. No Google.
McDonalds was not in every single suburb (and nowadays there's more than one in each!).
And I remember all the stuff my mum did... and I can see how different we do things. Which leads me to feel that 'mother guilt'.
I know, I know, I shouldn't compare myself with anyone else. But because it's your mother that you are 'comparing' yourself with it doesn't seem like an actual comparison... maybe I think it seems more of a 'reflection' with missing elements and some extra bits thrown in.
I am not a MasterChef like my mum was. I'm more of a 'tear it open' or 'dial it up' kind of cook.

I am not a dressmaker extraordinaire a la my mum. She even sewed my underwear!! I can't even repair a rip with some stitches.
My mum never put us in daycare and we only did a bit of preschool. Today I enrolled Evangeline in Daycare... but there is good reason. I want to spend an entire day, one on one with Jack. This will cost me $75, but the time spent with Jack doing intensive therapy will be priceless. 
Then I realised I am not a MasterChef because I do not have the time , well not the way I prioritise lol (yikes I lol'd sorry...). Maybe in a few years I will. But for now you will not see one recipe on my blog *shock horror* - a 'mummy blog with no recipes or tips on craft, sewing etc' *gasp*. But I'm sure I am not alone. There'd have to be quite a few mums/housewives/partners out there who are just not "Suzy Homemaker". And that is more than ok *insert winky face*.

I don't remember being baby sat as a kid. I think it happened very rarely. My mum truly never had a break from my sister and I.. well not until school started. This is another thing I've had to grapple with, especially after yesterday at Jack's assessment when the paediatrician said to accept all help, especially respite. I have to realise that it is a necessity for me to have respite. Just because my mum never left my side, doesn't mean I have to do the same with my children. But I have to convince myself of that. I sometimes wish my mum had handed us over to other people to look after on a regular occasion. Maybe I would be less anxious in social situations, and more independant... Who knows. All I know is, if there is a mum out there questioning herself for 'taking a break' and 'pampering herself'... PLEASE DO NOT QUESTION YOURSELF! All mums deserve a break (and stay at home dad's, mustn't forget them!!) and I think it helps in getting yourself re-energised and most importantly being YOU! Not just you as 'mum' or you as 'wife' or you as 'partner'... but YOU as 'YOU'. Rediscover who you are as an individual.
The one thing I know I have/had in common with my mum... The love I have for my children knows no bounds. Everyday there is love. Even through our upset and our angry moments, love is the key factor behind it all. 

"Back in the day.." there was love. Today there is love. Tomorrow and for eternity there is love. Some thing's never change over the ages....... We just need to remind ourselves that our choices, the things we do, the way we do them, are always through love. Or at least should be.
As long as there is love in the house, we should try not beat ourselves up over the small things. Mother Guilt can have it's place, but like anger, it should be a very small place.

1 comment:

mishaps and mayhem of a gluten free life said...

Your mum didn't have the same unique children that you do. my mum didn't work u l I went to high school after dad had a viral heart attack. She did teach ballet from when I was 4 but we tagged along, why I love dancing. But what I'm trying to say is the world was a different place 30yrs ago, you certainly didn't send your kids to day care it wasn't the done thing, and the women that did were very much frowned upon by the other women. You do what's right for you and as hard as it is try not to compare to your mum, I do and I haven't been blessed with kids yet. Please Hun don't feel guilty, and as far as takeaway in the last 2 months with these neck spasms takeaway has been on the menu more frequently. You have a very unique situation and do what you have to for everyone of you xxx