Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Something about letting go....and Kicking Ass!!...

Ok so the last post I made was a vlog where I fell apart.. just a bit. I was worried about every aspect of my life. I didn't know whether I was Arthur or Martha. I wanted to be everything to everyone. I wanted to complete every possible task I thought was expected of me. And then I realised I didn't have to.
Da-dah! Epiphany time!
After talking to some very amazing people and reading The Imperfect Mum's blog post on the expectations we put on ourselves (nobody else puts them on us!), I was able to gain some perspective and understanding of my situation.
I was the one thinking I should be doing this and that.
I was the one that placed the pressure on myself to be this, that and the other.
It was all in my head. And I had the power to change that!!
I know changing what goes on in your head is actually bloody hard. And I'm not saying I am a professional and what I do will be a fail safe approach to helping with that depressed, overwhelmed feeling. But I thought I would share what helped me to get through the last few weeks, or was it months?? Damn, it can screw with your sense of time.

First thing I did was: LET GO!

Almost like bungee jumping off the bridge and saying "Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!".
I stopped stressing that the dishes weren't done. They will get done. Sometime.
I stopped trying to control everything that was happening because *newsflash* you just can't!
I stopped wanting to 'fix' my children right here and right now. My main thing was to just plain enjoy them! A happy mum equals happy children. True story! If they see me stress about trying to fit in this amount of time on this amount of therapy etc, said therapy would be null and void anyways.

Second thing I did was: TAKE BABY STEPS!
Tackling things a little bit at a time. A mouse can eat a whole block of cheese as long as it nibbles, otherwise it would choke!

I had to realise everything worthwhile takes time and so can I.
Writing a list, prioritising and then slowly making my way through it... or not. I make the rules. The rules that suit my life, my family, the situations and experiences I am faced with.

The last thing I did was: CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE!
So every time my negative thoughts came through and tried to drag me down to the deep depths, I put on my ninja persona and did a judo chop.

 I had to be very conscious of naming all the positive things in my life (no matter how small or supposedly insignificant) and focussing on them.
I understand that not all circumstances would be helped by using these steps. But for me they have done a great deal.
It also helped to have such a wonderful 'cheer squad' from my friends IRL (in real life) and those in the 'blogosphere'. Support is definately a big factor in making it through such tough times, whether it be mentally or situationally (that's a real word right?!?).
Now it's time for me to move forward and KICK ASS!!!! Who else is with me?


Gemma @ My Big Nutshell said...

so excited to read about your progress Yeran! You rock hard and you don't take it laying down either! I reckon self talk is so important. So great to read your inspiring and powerful words!

Accepting you can't control somethings is bloody hard.

Oh my goodness! Do you LOVE Kick Ass the movie? I am the hugest fan of HIT GIRL! She is awesome!!

Stranger Than Fiction aka Yeran said...

Yes yes yes!! I LOVE Kick Ass! And Hit Girl is just the shiz nit!!! One of my fave movies of all time :-)
And I've got to say you are one KICK ASS chick!! Thanks for being a huge part of keeping my head above water xxxx

The Imperfect Mum said...

Ahhh LOVE IT. Kicking some ASS. Everything you have said is so true it's so easy getting daunted by all of the exterior crap.

Next minute your so overwhelmed you don't know what to do with yourself!!

You go girl!!!

Kristy - aka The Imperfect Mum X

Anonymous said...

Great work. The hardest part is stopping & making change. Some times we are too absorbed to make change or progress. Well done. I am here in blogsphere cheering you on each & every step. Not every day is easy but there is something in every day to enjoy. Love Chelle Getting Sorted xo

Stranger Than Fiction aka Yeran said...

Kristy: oh yes us mum's are the ones that truly know how to kick ass ;-) I hope this post inspires others to feel they can kick ass rather than have their asses kicked xxx

Chelle: thank you so much <3 and so true that there is something in everyday to enjoy xxx

Maryandlil said...

Kicking arse is totally fine Yez.....the harder the kick the better! Ps how blessed am I to have you in my life...your amazing...oh and dishes smishes!! Bahaha!

Leanna said...

So glad to read the change of heart since your vlog!

Keep on kicking ass momma!