Tuesday, 7 February 2012

I got pampered... or did I?

For Christmas my hubby my children got me a massage voucher at a Day Spa.

I was filled with both happy gratitude and "oh fu** this could be painful". I say painful because I have indeed experienced some very painful massages, from both here in Australia and in Thailand. I am not sure whether I am just a big wuss. Or they actually just go 'hard' on me.... *titter titter*.

Anyways back on topic.
I booked in the massage for a morning that was completely free. Yes they exist. Sometimes.
And I rocked up both excited and a bit nervous.
The usual Enya type music was playing when I walked in.
The scent of 'who knows what' but it definately smelt like a day spa. Essential oils and all that.
I was ushered into a darkened room with candles burning and a massage table with my name on it... ok not literally but you get what I mean.
I was told to strip off (ok not in those words but that was how I perceived it). They left the room while I disrobed. Then came back in as I lay face down ready to be pummeled massaged.
So I don't know how y'all go when you get 'pampered'/ massaged... but I'm a thinker. I cannot bloody switch off! Here I am getting what others dream of only to think about all the details that clog up my foggy mind. Then I start to do an inner monolgue of the actual massage itself...

"Ok, ok, that's hectic pressure you're using right there"
"Oh yes, yes that feels sooo good"
"Hmmm this isn't so bad"
"Wow this is feeling great!"
"Ouch, ouch, fu**! That hurts!"
"Woah lady you're getting mighty close to my butt crack!"

And that last quote kept coming at me a couple of times.
Very close to my butt crack I tell ya!

I was saying to myself "You are so relaxed right now. You are!"

75 minutes of 'pure bliss' and I spent it with the inner monologue of Woody Allen!

Am I the only one who doesn't get the full affect of the 'Day Spa' experience????
I mean I do and if hubby is reading this, I do I do get the experience!!! But I'm just unable to fully relax. Like comatose relax... Maybe it's just me....

Anyways, I really do enjoy the 'Day Spa' experience.. but maybe I just need a week of it to adjust to 'switching off'. *Insert winky and very much hinting face*

P.S: I really did enjoy the pampering. But damn that inner freaking monologue! Anybody know how to switch that off???!??


Jess WhoaMamma said...

Oh luvvie, sounds like some well deserved bliss. I love a good massage but haven't been for a professional one for years. The closest I get is my little munchkins (child labour). I get them to practice writing words on my back with their fingers (win/win) I get a (sort of) massage and they enhance their literary skills!
I think I'm the opposite of mindless chatter. I zone out almost to the point I fear I'm being rude. The masseuse (spellcheck?) talks to me and I don't respond because I'm off in La La Land.

Maybe you need a bit more practise to quiten your mental chatter. I suggest your darling ones buy you a years worth of massages. That might work!


Stranger Than Fiction aka Yeran said...

Hehehe yep I think a bit more practice sounds like the goer Jess ;-)

Just a Dizzy Blogging Dad said...

Alcohol and lots of it. It the only way to relax totally when you're getting a rub down from a stranger. I have only ever gotten two massages and hated them both thoroughly because I don't like to be touched by strangers too much. Well, that and they were "therapeutic"/torture massages after I got hit by a car, so it hurt like bananas!

You're way braver/tougher than I am. I would never go get a massage for recreational purposes. I am shivering and soaking in fear sweat just thinking about it.